grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
