meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
