from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
