what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
