I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
