Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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