Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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