I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
where am i from again
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
