And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
