i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
