Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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