Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
