Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
