she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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