What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
