I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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