So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
