booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
