one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
