sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
