We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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