I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
