How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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