eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
