if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
