He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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