I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
