Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
