2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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