just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
