You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
