Me too!
it was like eating out sand paper
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
