): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
