I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
