i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
