all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
