Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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