Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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