So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
