how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
