Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
