It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
