I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
