I am spending my child support on dildos
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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