He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
