I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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