At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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