ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
