Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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