I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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