I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You ate ashes out of my bong
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
