a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
