He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
